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I’d like to say my fascination with American Colonial architecture began in a lofty highbrow way, like attending an architectural seminar or reading an important historical book. But, like a lot of things in my life, pop culture tends to outrank the lofty and highbrow. My love of Pre-Revolutionary architecture began with the camp Halloween classic, Hocus Pocus. 

One of the movie’s characters, Allison, lives in a beautiful historic mansion. The minute my then-13-year-old eyes saw it on screen, every window lit with candles, I fell in love. As it turns out, that home is an actual historic house in Salem, Massachusetts. The Ropes Mansion, built in the 1720s, is a stunning example of Colonial architecture and is considered to be one of the finest historical homes in New England.

My obsession with these homes continued when I moved to the New York area for several years. I journeyed through Vermont and admired the historic farmhouses. I took photos of the quaint stone cottages and churches in Sleepy Hollow and the Hudson River Valley. I also enjoyed reading more American Revolution roadside history plaques in New Jersey than I ever would have imagined. But the credit for my American Colonial love will always go to one Miss Bette Midler and the movie Hocus Pocus.

Picture Courtesy of Willjay, via Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license 

American Colonials

Most of us are familiar with the 1920s to 1940s Colonial Revival architecture movement. These modern-era homes are far larger and fancier than true American Colonial houses. But true American Colonial architecture refers to any house built before the American Revolution.

Puritans arrived in New England in 1620, and the earliest houses were sheds and cabins, but over time architecture became defined by first-period English-style homes. The ornamentation and decoration of these homes were as you would expect, given their Puritan origins. The First Period English style homes (as seen above in the photo of the “Witch House” in Salem, MA) were perhaps the most ornamented, with casement windows with diamond-shaped panes. The Saltbox Colonial, the more traditional box-shaped homes with sloping roofs and center fireplaces, were also common. The wealthier colonists would also recreate Georgian architecture (like the Ropes Mansion mentioned above). 

All of these Colonial house styles were simple and utilitarian by today’s standards, with hand-crafted furniture, beautifully sewn quilts and wood beams/trim. Their exteriors were painted in earth tones, with paint made from natural plant resources, in shades of white, ochre, reddish brown and muted green. 

Picture courtesy of CLK Hatcher, via Wikimedia Commons

Dutch Colonials 

Dutch colonists began settling areas in New Jersey and New York (specifically the Hudson River Valley) around 1630. This region of the country was known as New Amsterdam. The hallmark Dutch Colonial houses of this region were styled with practical European details. These two-story gabled farmhouses varied by region. Some houses were built using brick and stone, and others with wood frame structures. But Dutch Colonials always featured the trademark gambrel roof, flared eaves and (usually) Dutch doors.

One of the more famous historical Dutch Colonial structures is the Old Dutch Church of Sleepy Hollow. Built in the 17th century, this structure, with its stone walls and gambrel bell-shaped roofline, is one of the oldest churches in the United States. It is best known for being included in Washington Irving’s, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.” Irving is also buried in the graveyard behind the church. 

Cape Cod Revivals

The architectural term “Cape Cod” was coined by the President of Yale in 1800 to describe the houses he saw when he visited Cape Cod, Massachusetts. These charming homes, with their steep rooflines, central chimneys and occasional small upstairs dormer windows, were like “baby” versions of the grander American Colonials. Decorated in similar plain Puritan styles, with shingled exterior walls, these homes are the epitome of historic seaside style.

I was probably the only child-dork who was obsessed with finding out the architectural style of Susan’s dream house in Miracle on 34th Street. I discovered that these quaint cottage-like homes were Cape Cod Revivals. Colonial revival homes were increasingly popular in the 1940s and constructed in homage to the original Cape Cod seaside style. Their popularity was spurred on by the famed “Levittown” suburbs built on Long Island. Cape Cods were part of the WWII housing boom, where new neighborhoods sprung up in mass to house returning war veterans and their families. 

This article merely skims the top of the rich, fascinating and layered history of New England and New Amsterdam architecture. From sea captain homes to grand merchant trader’s mansions, the Colonial architecture styles of the northeast are my absolute favorites, and seeing them in person through tours, or just driving past, is a journey that no house-lover should miss. 

We’ve all had difficult neighbors. The downstairs neighbors who won’t stop partying on a Thursday night. The condo neighbor’s barking dogs. The backyard neighbors who planted an invasive species of wisteria that’s now climbing the fence and up your trees. Whether it’s construction, bright lights, home security alarms, pets or overgrown yards, we’ve all encountered the question, “What do I do about my difficult neighbors?”

I can tell you what NOT to do by way of my grandfather’s example. Grandad’s neighbors were cat lovers, but not in moderation. These neighbors took their animal-loving passion to extremes, housing dozens of cats in their home and garage. And these cats liked to make their way over the fence, into Grandad’s backyard, and all over his newly washed Buick. Grandad’s car was a source of pride, and washing it weekly gave him great joy, but the dozens of dirty cat prints did not. His solution was to get a folding chair, place it in the shade, pour a cup of coffee and use a pellet gun to evict any stray cats that came into his line of vision. This is a prime example of what to NEVER do.

I once had neighbors with two incredibly hyper Australian Shepherds. These dogs lived outside and ran the fence line, scream-barking if I dared to enjoy my own backyard. It was a problem, but I did not for one second think of getting a pellet gun for two reasons.

  1. Using a carrot is always preferable to a stick. 
  2. I don’t like jail.

I knocked on the neighbor’s door and asked if I could give their dogs treats, and once I threw a few over the fence, voila, no more barking. But neighbor problems always beg the question, “What do I do?” Here are some solutions, and none of them involve pellet guns. 

Look Before You Buy

Ideally, look before you buy. If a home has dead hedges, a broken basketball hoop and a car parked on the curb with three flat tires, chances are they’re not going to change their lifestyle choices just because you move in next door. If you love the house you’re buying, you may have to accept living with messy neighbors.

Know Your HOA Rules

Do your neighbors have five cars parked up and down the street? Did someone put up a storage building that touches your fence line? Consult your neighborhood’s HOA rules. Homeowner Association rules are requirements for everyone who buys a home in your area, which includes a myriad of standards for building, parking, lawn maintenance and noise. It will always be far easier to let the “board” enforce pre-agreed upon rules than doing battle on your own.

Survey Your Property Line

Is there a jungle gym being built on your property line? Are you having disputes about trimming or planting trees? Sometimes the best solution, especially if you’ve owned your property for some time (or inherited it), is to hire a surveyor to complete a new property assessment. Their findings are legally binding and can help you “prove” what you may already know to be true about your property. 

Have a Discussion, Offer a Solution

The deep rage you feel in your chest when you hear loud music bellowing from your neighbor’s open windows may quickly dampen when you meet said neighbor, a sweet elderly woman with a deep and abiding love for Johnny Cash and hearing aids that don’t work well. Meeting face-to-face and humanizing the situation will always serve to take the venom out of any dispute. Secondly, if you’re going next door to ring the bell and discuss a problem, be prepared to offer a solution for said problem. This keeps your neighbor from feeling attacked and promotes a discussion centered on finding common ground. 

Check Local Noise Ordinances 

All towns and communities have ordinances designed to prevent excessive levels of noise. Familiarize yourself with these laws as they pertain to certain hours and days of the week. 

Don’t Make Assumptions

Don’t assume that the neighbor who hasn’t mowed his yard in two months is neglecting it out of malicious intent. Overgrown yards, overflowing trash bins and a general lack of home maintenance can often signal that the family living inside is in poor health, struggling with depression, or worse, has experienced a death in the family. Meet with them and introduce yourself. You may find that they are struggling and need support. 

When All Else Fails

When all else fails, you may consider calling the cops, turning to the courts or lodging a complaint with a landlord. These types of actions should only be taken once you’ve tried to amicably discuss and find solutions for the problem. Once you take any of these steps, all semblance of “neighborly” feelings will be gone forever. Make sure it’s absolutely necessary before calling the police.

Ignore What You Can

When at all possible, I would recommend ignoring what you can and learning to let go. I’ve never regretted the moments in life when I was irritated and decided to put in some earplugs or buy dog treats for the yapping canines next door. I have regretted heated arguments and hurt feelings. There are some difficult neighbor situations that are unlivable. Sometimes you have no choice but to move forward with hard decisions and actions. But in some cases, most cases, letting go and ignoring overgrown grass (or cat paw prints on your Buick) is the wise and peaceful decision. 

I have two children. My oldest did not prepare me for my youngest. My daughter didn’t feel the need to really start walking around until 18 months old. She just sat, peacefully playing with whatever toys were nearby, while my home remained relatively unchanged. Even as she got older and became what I described as a “threenager” she still never toppled a table. She never threw her food to the ground. She didn’t stick a toy into a wall socket, and she didn’t try to scale a bookcase.

I’m assuming you’re picking up what I’m throwing out there. My second child is as energetic as he is freakishly smart. I call him (lovingly, of course) my little velociraptor. He is constantly testing the electric fences designed to keep him contained (metaphorically speaking). He has boundless energy, and sometimes he makes loud noises that sound just like we’re living inside a prehistoric jungle canopy. He has schooled me in the art of babyproofing.

There are babyproofing basics that everyone knows about, like doorknob covers, cabinetry hooks and baby gates at the bottom and top of stairs. But this list of tips is for parents of velociraptors. This is for babies that look at a plastic protector plug in an electrical socket, chuckle, and flick it onto the floor with their pointer finger (true story).

Electrical Sockets

Face it, sometimes the plugs aren’t enough. If you’re going the route of traditional plastic plugs, and you have a toddler with the dexterity of a professional cat burglar, you get what you pay for. My son can remove the cheaper plugs with no problems, but the more expensive plugs made from thicker plastic are harder for him to remove. I have also shifted furniture into odd locations to block particularly attractive electrical outlets, and the open space behind the table under the tv (where there is a veritable Disney World of wiring) is covered with a large piece of cardboard, duct taped to the legs of the table. 

Bolt Your Furniture to the Wall 

If you find yourself pondering, “I wonder if he/she/they will climb on that,” the answer is always yes. Large furniture purchases automatically come with kits to affix them to the wall, but it’s usually with a small plastic piece that screws into the wall and a zip tie. For heavier pieces, you should spring for a metal L-bracket and some screws that mean business

Hide the Books 

Bookshelves were made for toppling, and books were made for ripping. Create a safe room and put them inside it, and barricade the door. I tried the small bungee cords designed to help keep books in place, and my toddler laughed, dismantled the bungee cord, and then shot it across the room like a giant rubber band. Okay, maybe I’m embellishing a bit. But the bungee cord didn’t work, hiding the books in the back office did. 

Toilet Brushes and Plungers

When babyproofing my bathroom, I was diligent about hooks that prevented my son from prying open cabinets or drawers full of toiletries and cleaning products that might harm him. What didn’t I think about? I didn’t think about the toilet brush and plunger located next to the toilet. I forgot until the day came when my small beloved tried to use the toilet scrubber as a giant hairbrush. Now these cleaning implements live in a bucket in the garage, and thankfully, he hasn’t figured out how to get that door open yet.

Prop the Cushions and Enjoy Standing

My son loves to smear a mouthful of banana all over the sectional in the living room. He also likes to run on it, like an upholstered toddler superhighway. He likes to jump up and down on it. Many times my daughter and I have saved him from going over the back, on his head and onto the concrete slab floor below. Therefore, the cushions stay propped up, permanently. We flip all of them upright, and he has a small, short ledge to sit and play on, but the height from which he can fall to the ground is mitigated, and the banana smearing is at a minimum. Sure, I’m exceeding the hourly stand goal for my Apple watch, but we’ve sustained zero falling head injuries so far, and I’m counting that as a win. 

Cover the Hard Edges Under Tables

Do yourself a favor and peer under your tables. Lurking underneath your desk or dining table are likely very sharp, very easy-to-reach corners. Cover those bad boys. Pad them. Duct tape them. Do whatever you have to do, because, inevitably, your toddler is going to stand up underneath said table, and bleeding from the scalp is a situation everyone would like to avoid.

It may seem as if I’m complaining about my son. On the contrary. I find his ability to master childproofing contraptions, or to do gymnastics on the hardest of surfaces and still come out relatively unscathed, superhuman. He’s bright and funny and will throw down his noise-making cars and run to give me impromptu hugs that melt me completely. But I do think that the world sold parents a bill of goods with the idea that we could babyproof our homes and still keep them looking/feeling relatively the same as they did pre-children. This isn’t true. 

Toddler years don’t last forever. Maybe we have to prop a piece of furniture in a weird place, duct tape hard edges under our antique dining room table or barricade books into closets or guest rooms. Babyproofing is a small price to pay for having these hilarious, ingenious small humans in our homes. 

Farmhouse style is currently, and inextricably, linked with all things “modern” farmhouse. This style of home, made famous by the tv show “Fixer Upper” and Chip and Joanna Gaines’ products, has permeated even the most suburban of ranch houses. The decor world has decidedly gone “farmhouse” crazy with its shiplap walls, apron front sinks, wire baskets, painted furniture and neutral colors. It’s a style that has become sleek, polished and buttoned up. However, true farmhouse architecture and style can’t be found in the aisles of a big box store.

Real farmhouse architecture stems from a rural, hardworking and utilitarian lifestyle. As much as we like to romanticize “farmhouse” living, these types of homes were originally all about living well while working hard. Farmhouses took advantage of the seasons, whether with center halls that created cross ventilation or large porches that helped them survive the summer months. These homes had large fireplaces and wood stoves to heat during the winter. Oftentimes fireplaces were built in the very center of the home, designed to transmit as much heat as possible to the whole house. 

American farmhouses began as early colonial houses. These rural homes weren’t born of floor plans and building codes, they were built by the men and women who lived in them, constructed with their bare hands, and if they were lucky, with the help of a few neighbors. These early American homes were constructed in a simple square floor plan, oftentimes so “wings” could be added on as families grew in size and became multi-generational over the years.  

The idea of what constitutes a farmhouse varies depending on the decade and geographical location. The classic farmhouse that usually springs to mind is a two-story home, rectangular in shape, with spacious porches and a simple floor plan. These houses are often painted white, but it isn’t uncommon to see red farmhouses (especially in New England). Original farmhouse style and architecture are characterized by an “undone” quality. The people who lived in these homes made practical use of what they already had. Hoosier cabinets, large tables in the center of the room and pie cabinets were the hallmarks of farmhouse kitchens. Overly large fireplaces, or wood stoves, were the central hub of the house where cooking took place, and families warmed themselves in the winter. These homes were comfortable and filled with dishes and furniture passed down through generations. Interiors had plain practical woodwork and unpretentious features like simple staircases and open room flow.

Most of us don’t have the luxury of true historical farmhouse living, hence the nationwide craze for modern farmhouse style inside our suburban tract homes. Sparse, eclectic kitchens filled with furniture and tables aren’t the most practical, especially given that most of us live with modern-era floorplans. However, there are plenty of ways to incorporate the farmhouse feel into our homes without going “theme” crazy. 

When it comes to decor, remember to keep things eclectic. If you decorate with too many antiques, your home will look stuffy. If you lean too modern, it begins to feel cold. The latest trends are moving away from wall “sayings” (avoid over-decorating with quotes or large signage). Also, give that interior barn door a second thought. They’re a feature often installed between the bedroom and bathroom, and without a normal door “closing” or seal, you won’t find much privacy between the two.

While painted furniture pieces are all the rage, incorporating wood stains can give a home a rustic farm feeling. Instead of a large farm table in the center of the kitchen, adding a butcher block countertop to a large island or simple shaker cabinets lends a farmhouse feel to a modern kitchen. Keeping things light and bright, with paint colors based in neutrals like white, cream, beige and gray, adds a farmhouse vibe. Board and batten and shiplap are also ways to incorporate casual character into your home, but tread carefully, these can be overdone. 

Farmhouse architecture is a warm and welcoming home style. For the homeowner who doesn’t want an overly fussy or pretentious exterior or interior, it’s an easy, welcoming choice.

Have you ever wondered why you gravitate toward a certain style of home? Do you prefer old homes over new ones? Do you cringe at bright colors, or emphatically shake your head no when a friend suggests you buy a neutral rug? Do you value the newest trends or staunchly cling to antiques? We may not even know why we like what we like, we just know it when we see it. These preferences are driven by your personality, whether consciously or unconsciously. The following categories are just a few examples of how our house personality influences decor. 

The Classic

This is a person who values tradition, consistency, and class. Do you love classic literature, vintage cars and understated elegance? Do you love art that reminds you of a museum? Do you own formal china and silver? Do you love to host holiday dinners? Then you’re likely a Classic house personality.

Musts: Elegant furniture that you keep for a lifetime and pass on to your children.

Nevers: Quick, cheap purchases, like an overly trendy light fixture.

The Bohemian

Don’t tell them what to do. These free spirits will decorate when and how they please. If they like a bright red Victorian settee, they’re going to get it whether it matches the room or not. If they want a brightly-colored backsplash in their kitchen, they’re going to ignore people who say that neutral tiles are better for resale value. If you like color, irreverent whimsy and sometimes a little bit of disorder, you’re probably a Bohemian. 

Musts: An antique chair and a brightly colored Moroccan rug. 

Nevers: A matching living room furniture set with beige upholstery. 

The Homebody

“Introvert” seems to be a bad word in certain circles, but a kinder iteration is the word “homebody.” These people are my people. We would rather cook dinner than go out. We aren’t concerned with having enough seating for a party, but our couch will always be comfortable. Others may go out to socialize, but we’re at home working in the garden or curled up in bed with a book. Creature comforts take precedence over appearance and socializing. 

Musts: Candles, high thread count sheets and all things cozy. 

Nevers: Items that look good but don’t feel good (you can keep those bony mid-century sofas).

The Old Soul

Do you love history? Are you always on the hunt at an antique mall? Do you watch black and white movies and shop for vintage clothes? Do you wish time moved slower and you could walk to your favorite restaurant instead of driving? Does buying a new car give you anxiety? Is your record player still getting air time? Then you, and your home, are old souls. 

Musts: Movie memorabilia, stacks of records, vintage lamps.

Nevers: Big box purchases. You’ll take grandma’s dining table any day over a brand new one.

The Organizer

Your twist ties are in a labeled bag, and that bag is inside a box that’s also labeled. You can find your baking supplies in a flash, and not one book on your bookshelf isn’t in alphabetical order. You thrive in a world that makes sense and is predictable. If there is chaos in a closet, you won’t be happy no matter how beautifully decorated your home is. 

Musts: Closet systems, shelving, clear plastic drawer containers, and bright lighting.

Nevers: Cluttered shelves overflowing with tchotchkes. 

The Nature Lover

Your favorite colors mimic the seasons. You would rather spend a Saturday hiking than in front of a tv. You have an entire storage closet in your garage dedicated to camping equipment, or you’ve invested in a well-stocked gardening shed in the backyard. You arrange furniture around plants that need to be situated in front of windows. Your yard is the envy of every gardener who drives past. 

Musts: Plants, calming colors, and a tabletop water fountain.

Nevers: Houses with small windows and dark rooms.

The Romantic

Do you prefer to fill your rainy afternoons with Meg Ryan movies? Have you ever met a flower arrangement you didn’t like? Do you like soft colors, wispy curtains, and chandeliers? Is a trip to Versailles your idea of a dream vacation? Are your perfumes organized on mirrored trays and is gilt your favorite accessory? You, my dear, are a romantic. 

Musts: Lace curtains, old-world paintings and candelabras. 

Nevers: Modern furniture, black dishes and rooms that look cold.

The Modernist

This productive person has no patience for silliness or wasted time. They thrive on achieving goals and are put off by clutter or fusty old rooms. They like efficient interiors, cutting-edge technology, and the newest waves of interior design. In other words, they are the polar opposite of The Romantic.

Musts: Curtainless windows, streamlined furniture, the newest of the new.

Nevers: Grandma-anything or an overflowing cabinet of travel coffee mugs.

The Learner

This house personality represents the eternal students of the world. Stacks of magazines live underneath bedside tables, bookshelves are a necessity, and musical instruments hang on walls. Bowls of seashells, different species of pine cones, or a stack of books on Picasso grace their tabletops. Their homes are less about organization and appearance, and more about learning about the world around them.

Musts: A home library and long tables to stack their latest crystals and fossil rocks.

Nevers: Soulless houses without books and filled with big box store accessories. 

At the end of the day, most of us don’t fall neatly into one house personality category. We hover between two or three with varying percentages. There are also missing categories in this list. For example, the “Oops I Forgot” category would have included those of us who leave wet clothes in the dryer overnight, but that didn’t seem like much fun. Regardless of specific categories, your home is a reflection of who you are. Understanding our personalities and preferences is a big step toward creating a home where we feel comfortable and happy.

Everyone has had a love affair with the color purple at one time or another. Most of us likely had that love affair in kindergarten when we battled each other for the purple crayon, because heaven forbid, we get stuck with Burnt Sienna. Purple is a color that spans history as we know it, conjuring up images of kings, queens, and witches. Purple has, for a large part of history, been a color reserved for the rich and powerful. We can trace that fact back to, of all things, a snail. 

Ancient Phoenicians discovered that they could extract mucus from a predatory sea snail and create purple dye. I found this information momentarily alarming for two reasons.

1. Who discovered this? Who cracked open a snail, eyeballed the mucus and said, “Let’s make clothes?”

2. I did not know that snails could be predatory. I choose to retain my childhood love of cute snails who eat plants and leave behind sparkly trails of slime, not mercenary no-limit snails who kill other creatures.

This mucus-dye was intended to help the snail sedate its prey. But mankind decided to use this mucus to create purple dye, and the only way to do this was by “milking” the snails. I wish that was a joke, and yes, the mental pictures associated with that fact are less than desirable. This was, no doubt, a labor-intensive endeavor, and it took thousands of snails to create even an ounce of dye. Purple dye (and clothing) had an exorbitant price point that limited anything of the purple persuasion available to only the very wealthy. This stunning shade, a mix between blue and red, was known as Tyrian purple. Apparently, this dye smelled so foul, that the Talmud granted women the right to divorce any husband who became a dyer after marriage. Given the Jewish commitment to lasting marriages, that tells us all we need to know about the smell associated with milking a snail.

The color purple is peppered throughout history. God refers to it in the Old Testament book of Exodus. It’s a shade mentioned in the Iliad and the poems of Sappho. In ancient Rome, purple became a clothing shade that was policed upon penalty of death. China was the first to create a synthetic dye, and Emperor Charlemagne was buried in a shroud of Tyrian purple. Gustav Klimt (above) loved painting with purple, and it was one of the colors that represented the Women’s Suffrage movement. Prince claimed it as his signature color, and Alice Walker used it as part of her famous book title.

Purple also has mystical and magical connotations. It’s a shade associated with witches at Halloween, crystal balls, and the smoke coming from a spooky cauldron. Now that we know about the color’s expensive-snail inception, it’s safe to say no one was running around wearing a purple witch hat in colonial Salem, but in popular culture, it’s a shade still associated with witches. A purple door can signify the occupant is a practitioner of magic, and it’s also the shade associated with the crown chakra, which is believed to link us to enlightenment and the divine. 

But what does any of this have to do with decorating with purple? These days purple is no longer linked to royals, snails, or shrouds. We can wear it, and we can decorate with it. It’s a shade that women and men alike favor, or detest. In my conversations with people over the years, there is usually no middle ground. My friends either love decorating with purple, or they avoid it at all costs. I’m in the strange middle. I love wearing purple, I love amethyst crystals, and there’s hardly anything more beautiful than a purple hyacinth, but I won’t be painting any of my rooms purple. I once had a purple office in a basement, and it did not encourage enlightenment or divine thoughts, only a pervading sense of darkness and an intrinsic desire to lay in the sun. But for those who choose to decorate with purple, it does send a message into the world that they are bold, creative risk-takers. 

Purple can be soothing. A bedroom in shades of soft lilac is comforting. Purple can also be loud and brash, such as bright purple velvet curtains in a dining room. Color combinations with purple can also evoke very different environments. Purple and red are energetic and jolting, while lavender and pale aqua can evoke restful, spa-like rooms. 

One thing is certain, purple is not a shade relegated to kindergarten crayons or Halloween. Whether you paint your entire house exterior in shades of eggplant or your front door in a twilight hue, or you place a simple vase filled with iris on your dining room table, this is a shade that has stood, and will stand, the test of time.

I have never fully remodeled a kitchen. I don’t know what it’s like to get up in the morning and make coffee in the corner of my bedroom while wiping sheetrock dust out of my hair. That sort of experience is reserved for the hard-core home renovators that I love and admire. However, I’ve done a few kitchen facelifts over the years. I’ve painted cabinets, replaced appliances and light fixtures, rehabbed a pantry, and I’m currently in the middle of a backsplash project. But over the years I’ve watched many friends renovate. I’ve been on house-hunting expeditions through new kitchens that left a lot to be desired. I’ve also watched and read everything about Martha Stewart since I was 16 years old, and there are some inalterable facts when it comes to kitchen remodeling mistakes. I have gleaned a few important tips along the way.

Kitchen remodels aren’t for the faint of heart, so if you’re considering venturing into new and unknown territory, it’s always best to make a list. 

Starship Enterprise Islands

If you’re the lucky owner of a sizable house or an actress in a Nancy Meyers movie, you probably have the square footage for a kitchen island the size of Manhattan. But for the rest of us home plebeians, we probably need to forgo dreams of an island as big as a boat. More reasonably designed islands give the perks of storage and seating, without being so large you’re unable to open your stove or cabinet doors. For homes sporting small kitchens, downsized mobile islands with wheels are the best bet for function, while still maintaining floorspace.

Open Shelving Paloozas

Usable storage is often vastly underestimated in kitchen remodels. While house hunting, I was repeatedly stumped by beautiful remodels with massive amounts of open shelving. It left me asking the all-important questions, like, “Where do you put the Tupperware? Where does the Crockpot go?” But seriously, no one wants to look at plastic sippy cups. Forgo excessive open shelves and invest in plenty of drawers.

Forgetting That Workflow Thing

The workhorses of the kitchen (sink, refrigerator, and stove) are always in need of planning when designing the floorplan of a remodel. Designers swear by the “kitchen triangle” when designing the ideal kitchen flow. I’ve lived in plenty of kitchens that didn’t have any semblance of a triangle, and my cooking ventures survived. But it stands to reason you don’t want to walk across a big room every time you need some milk. 

Somewhere to Park

Kitchens are the place where everyone ends up hanging out, so whether you have breakfast nook seating, island bar stools, or a simple bench in the corner, don’t forget to create a space for your guests to park while you cook. 

The Neglected Backsplash

I am always stumped by beautifully redone kitchens with no backsplashes. Seeing gorgeous new marble, or cabinetry, or lighting, with nothing but drywall for a backsplash is jarring. It’s a bit like getting dressed up to go to the Oscars and forgetting to wear earrings. Beautiful backsplash options are without a doubt the jewelry of every kitchen, so don’t forget to plan one.

Don’t DIY (Know Your Limits)

I am really good at painting a room. I can edge without painter’s tape. All I need is an unencumbered Saturday, and I can paint at least two rooms. But I have limits, and when it comes to painting kitchen cabinets, I leave that to the professionals. Been there, done that, made a huge mess. When it comes to tiling, plumbing or painting, sometimes we may need to park our DIY pride and hire a professional. Not only will you get it done right the first time, but you’ll also avoid the added expense of doing it yourself, and then hiring someone to fix it. 

Budget Hard (Unless You’re a Billionaire)

The average kitchen remodel (which can range from a cottage kitchen to a massive McMansion) ranges from $14,000 to $40,000 according to HomeAdvisor. Kitchen remodels can be vastly more expensive depending on what part of the country you live in. The overwhelming advice from top designers and remodel mavens? Set a budget and stick to it, and allow a certain percentage for emergencies and unforeseen expenses. 

Kitchen remodels, like all home endeavors, have pitfalls and rewards. But the all-important light at the end of the tunnel is a fully transformed space that creates the perfect “heart of the home.” Holidays with good food, popcorn and snacks for movie nights, and drinks around your (appropriately sized) island will make all the list-making, check-writing, and sheetrock dust cleaning worth it in the end. 

Once upon a time, I lived in a yellow brick mid-century home. It was a small house with a pink-tiled bathroom, a simple one-story house, long and low. The original kitchen, which no doubt had Formica and tile tied to the late 40’s era, had long been ripped out, but the original front windows were big and let light shine in all day every day, no matter the season or angle of the sun. I loved that house. 

I began hunting for similar-style furniture in flea markets and garage sales. My Craigslist couch was only a few degrees more comfortable than sitting on the floor, but I loved my mid-century house and furniture. And while I’ve always preferred an eclectic house not limited to one time period, you’ll always find a table or lamp that hearkens from the era of Rock Hudson somewhere in my home. 

Mid-century design began its takeover of American architecture right after World War II. It spanned from 1945 until 1969, consisting of modern aesthetics and room design that still influences our homes and buildings today. Mid-century design was the evolution of several architectural and design concepts, notably Frank Lloyd Wright’s “Prairie Style” and the German design movement Bauhaus. 

Frank Lloyd Wright was known for his large, impressive homes (like Fallingwater, above). But he also contributed to the idea that all homes, big or small, should be efficient, with open floor plans and connected with nature. The simplicity of Lloyd’s Prairie Style was streamlined into some of the midcentury style we see today, minus Prairie’s more ornate woodwork and stained glass. 

The German Bauhaus movement was also a big influence on mid-century design. This movement in art and architecture began in 1919 when architect Walter Gropius founded his guild. The Wassily chair was a product of Bauhaus, a simple design that became a staple in office design. Kadinsky taught at the school as well. By the 1930’s Germany became an unstable environment for most people in the arts, and the school was closed. Gropius (and many of his associates) immigrated to America where their ideas would set the standard for many aspects of mid-century architecture and design. 

One of our main cultural touchstones in mid-century pop culture is, ironically, a cartoon. When you watch The Jetsons, you can’t help but realize you’re being immersed in a futuristic version of mid-century modern, from the shape of their homes to their flying cars. And there’s a reason for that. The artists and creators of The Jetsons were working for Hanna-Barbera Studios, and the buildings around them (like L.A.’s futuristic Theme Building) likely influenced their creations. 

California was the center for mid-century architecture in many ways, thanks to architect Joseph Eichler and his “Eichler Homes.” These suburbs sprung up in the L.A. and San Francisco areas and typified the long, low, one-story homes with walls of glass. But you cannot have any conversation containing the words “mid-century modern” without paying homage to the Eameses and Herman Miller. 

Charles and Ray Eames, the powerhouse husband/wife team who became synonymous with all things mid-century, created everything from wood splints for WWII soldiers to their famous “Case Study” Eames house. They collaborated with Herman Miller furniture to create one of the most famous pieces of furniture of all time, the Eames chair. Herman Miller also produced more iconic mid-century modern furniture, such as the Noguchi Table and Marshmallow Sofa, not to mention the cubicle. 

At the end of the day, mid-century architecture and design define a large portion of America’s modern history. Whether it’s the cylindrical MIT chapel, JFK’s TWA Flight Center (now hotel), Doris Day’s apartment in Pillow Talk, or your grandmother’s formal living room with giant windows and “don’t touch” plastic-covered couches, this is a style that spans all our collective cultural influences and memories. 

When you hear the phrase “Man Cave,” it brings to mind basements, garages, or an unused room in the back of the house. We can collectively envision taxidermy, game consoles, personal computers, and maybe a neon beer sign or two. These are generalizations of course; my own father’s “man cave” is a basement room filled to the brim with books, WWII memorabilia his own father brought back from the South Pacific, and nearly every sentimental piece of childhood art, coffee cup and random rock my sisters and I ever gave him. 

Of course, anyone can have a “man cave” but the past few decades have rendered the notion almost solely the property of men. But as years went by, women started to wonder, “Where’s my cave?” Sure, they may traditionally be the gender who decorates the home, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily have a place to retreat. Doing yoga in the center of the house while your kids throw cereal at each other doesn’t lend itself to a peaceful experience. 

I suppose this is where the concept of the “she shed” really kicked off. Apparently, high-end shed makers decided women not only wanted a space of their own but also wanted to exit their homes completely. These “she sheds” are backyard buildings but aren’t your grandpa’s shed full of tools. They are painted, floored, air-conditioned, and kitted out to the nines. These tiny cottages can have windows, lights, comfortable chairs and electric wood stoves. 

But it leaves us asking a question, “When I can’t leave home, where do I escape?” Of course, we’d all love to have a designated basement or fancy outdoor shed, but it’s not always possible. So where can we run?

Where can we go when we need to retreat? Sure, we may love our kitchens, but our kitchens are high-traffic public spaces. We may adore movie night with popcorn in the family room, but it’s also a place where video game battles and loud sleepovers spike the home decibel level. What do we do without a she-shed or a man-cave? All humans need a respite hideaway in their life, and here are four ideas to make that happen. 

Your Bedroom

As adults, our bedrooms are usually the last place we put energy, effort and dollar bills. For so many of us, it’s a room with old hand-me-down furniture, piles of laundry, and mismatched sheets and blankets. It’s a place we collapse at the end of the day and nothing more. I propose we turn this arrangement on its head. I’ve created a “no kids allowed” rule in my bedroom. This will sound harsh to some, but it’s been a godsend to me. My children have the run of every other room in the house, but I reserve the right to channel my inner bartender and tell them, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” I splurged on new curtains, an electric fireplace and bookshelves. It’s the place where I hide candy, watch tv and read my books. No kid crafts or gymnastics allowed. Best yet, I don’t have to trek across a dark backyard to visit a shed.

The Formal Dining Room

Throughout this pandemic, people commandeered their formal dining room for other uses. A friend of mine decided to throw herself into creating an art studio for herself. The unused dining table became a central space for her to paint, draw and better yet, not clean up after she was done. The upside over a basement she/he-cave? Natural light and close proximity to the coffee maker.

Spare Bedroom

Do you really need a spare bedroom? Can you shove the bed to one side, or spring for a twin/trundle bed to create more floor space? This is the place for yoga or shelves for your vintage Star Wars figurines. Your guests only stay a few times a year, you live in your house every day.

Your Closet

Okay, but hear me out. Some closets are literally small rooms begging for more than just clothes and shoes. Get it organized. Buy fancy shoe boxes. Find a makeup table. Put a chair in it with a reading lamp. Buy a small writing desk, hang a mirror to bounce light around, and write your book ideas in peace where you can’t hear the other people in your house playing Fortnite.

The Garage

While walking through my neighborhood one day, I passed by a house where the garage door was open. This was no regular garage. It had a very large flat-screen TV on the back wall, two recliners and rows of bookshelves. A couple sat in the recliners, holding hands, watching whatever show they were binging. I had to chuckle at the pile of kids’ bicycles by the front door, clearly not allowed in the parent cave. I was immediately reminded of Doug Hefernan’s garage in “King of Queens.” But instead of a beer fridge, there was a wine fridge. Instead of a dart board, there was a shelf with board games. It wasn’t a She Shed, nor was it a Man Cave. It was a sort of Couples Burrow, a place of solitude and solidarity from the kids. 

We all need a personal fortress of solitude. Whether it’s a cave, basement, garage, shed, or small corner in an unused room, we all need a place to sit and be, play games and relax, display our treasured objects, read and hide our snacks.